The Highs and the Lows…

Well it has been a little while but welcome back for a catch up.  A little more sombre in tone, but an important consideration to those Dad’s feeling they are having a personally low time of things.

Having a child/children is, for those considering it, just one of the most rewarding changes to your life imaginable.  From those first moments, seeing your partner go through such unequalled pain for those few hours to watching this new person get cleaned up and then being able to hold him.

That moment, holding this new little boy that up to that point you have only felt kick through his Mum’s tummy is wonderful.

There are the changes you make back at home, a moses basket now sits alongside your bed that is now occupied by an utterly helpless being, and when you wake up during that first night home its like a jolt of excitement; that feeling of ‘Christmas Day’ when you get to see him again.

Time as just the two of you are now few and far between.  The moments you have as a couple are difficult to enjoy because there is always the imminent threat of your newborn crying out for a feed or a change of his little nappy but, as a few months go by and a pattern on sleep is established, it is possible to find time (with the help of an exceptional family) to go out either with friends or together for a meal.

Shoot forward 4 years and you may be considering another.  A play mate and important figure in your first child’s life.  We made this choice, to have a sibling for Josh.

Much is made of the possible reaction from your. up to now; only child.  I can say that it has been wonderful watching Josh and how much he loves Isaac.  But with this comes an entirely new experience.

Josh – slept very well by himself incredibly early on, was a very static kind of baby and would quite enjoy his own time sitting and playing with toys.

Isaac – reverse everything above + although getting a little better, wants nothing to do with me as far as comforting is concerned.

Whether Rosie feels it to, she probably does, but it puts an incredible strain on both of you.  Those men reading who have either been through the experience or have just the 1 baby will appreciate their wives/fiancees/girlfriends wholeheartedly I am sure, but I can very confidently say that Rosie is just one of the most exceptional mothers.

The most maternal lady I know, and it comes from her family upbringing, Linda as recognition to you for your way with not just your girls, but your open and straight attitude to anyone they bring into your family.  Barry if you have a read of this too, despite things not quite working out how you both may have envisaged it when you married, you sir are such a gentleman, and both your daughters have been very fortunate to have a Dad that was as involved as you were/are.

When I get weighed down – be it through work being incredibly boring, studying towards bettering myself, stresses at home, missing my own Dad etc – I can be incredibly introverted.

This conflicts my work environment, where people expect everything done for them right now and show very little gratitude towards what you actually do manage to do for them.

At home it can lead to this pent up frustration coming out to those you are at your most comfortable with.  What you have to remember is that despite more often than not it is the man at work, your partner has been at home with a newborn and quite possibly an energetic young boy, both of whom need attention almost all the time – she too has been hard at work for the entire time you have been away, and does so every single day.

Everyone goes through times where they can feel themselves dipping, and other areas of their life appear to going great and I am a big fan of Biorhythms offering a means of understanding.  They are the consideration that every human has a regular cycle of wellbeing – the 3 main ones being Physical, Emotional and Intellectual.  How they are calculated I am unsure, but take a look and see what you think:

That will do for me, nice essay to get through to welcome you back to the blog, but as a Jerry Springeresque ending to this one, consider each others roles and just how hard each other work, especially the mother.


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